Recently went for the annual training session held by my firm. This was the third time around and surprise, surprise, the first time we got to go somewhere other than Cleveland. Which is good cos I was getting sick of the Sushi Rock and Spy Bar ritual anyway. We were debating between NYC and Atlanta and altho I hadn't been to the latter before, discussion brought us to the consensus that since we'd be spending most of the day in class anyway, we wouldn't be able to see many of the sights in Atlanta. And NYC definitely had better nightlife.

NYC it was then! Flew out on the Friday, Mar 12 with not just my batch of hires, but the ones a level below us as well. I think the entire group numbered around 20...and that was just from the Toronto office. Lodged at a serviced apartment that night before moving to the hotel in Times Square on Sunday...reason being that Times Square is where the training was going to be held.

Was glad that I'd done NYC sightseeing with Sandy and friend Reina in 2004, because this time around, the group was all about the parties and the NYC atmosphere. Friday night, dinner at the Italian restaurant neighbouring our apartment in the mid-town Lexington area, followed by a jaunt to the AER Club in the Warehouse district. Saturday, Japanese dinner, also close to the apartment before the Warehouse district again to the Club Duvet. This club was probably cloned after Bed (made famous by Sex and the City) and was pretty nice...only that it played house music for a good couple hours after we got there. Now, anyone worth their salt knows that in North America...its all about the hip-hop. No one would dance to the music till Jenn S walked up to the DJ and bluntly asked, "When are you going to play hip hop?" He agreed to, and in 2 mins the floor started filling up. Jenn's gutsy that way.

Sunday was a trip to Woodbury Premium Outlets, by far the best outlet mall I've been to. Trust MD to know about this one -- aside from the standards like GAP, Nike and Guess, it also had Versace, Camper, Prada, Kenneth Cole, Burberry (where MD blew her budget on an spring trenchcoat). Me? Just two pairs of sunglasses (one of them free), a Banana Republic tote bag, and an Esprit sweater. Later that night, dinner at Olive Garden and we called it an early night to prepare for the first day of training on Monday.

I thought that the training itself was pretty informative. Most of it consisted of Q&A and I got to hear what ppl from other regions do when it comes to managing teams/engagements. For breaks, we played 'Top 10' where each team brainstormed answers. Prizes were cheap but it was the non-cheesiest game I've played at a training session so far. I guess we're all growing up after all.

Mon night was a trip to see David Letterman live! I have much respect for AS post-trip...he really organized almost everything for us. The guest during our taping was Richard Gere who talked about his new movie and his new slow-food restaurant, and some guy who organizes the Discover Club's annual Exotic Food event. I would've preferred Jay Leno, but there was SOME amusement in watching David Letterman attempt to eat alligator meat and cow eyeballs. Got back to the hotel in time to have dinner on the firm. I had the seabass which I found a little overdone, but ppl who had the filet mignon pronounced it divine. The pre-dinner platter of raw oysters and shellfish, the yummy salad and the a dessert of rich and smooth creme brulee made up for the dissapointing main dish. Did I mention oysters already? :P

Post-dinner, went over to the drinking party at AS's room but called it an early night. Some went down to the hotel bar/lounge, and from the next morn's account of it, had a roaring good time, staying till the bar had almost emptied out. As an aside, my whole idea of what NY cheesecake is has been re-defined thanks to Lindy's just a block east of the Ed Sullivan Theater where the taping was held. Mmm cheesy yumminess.

Tue night was the last night of being at training, and keeping with tradition, we had to go all out. First was dinner at Dallas USA, a greasy spoon place I wouldn't have gone to if it weren't for Max and SK wanting to meet up with previous training session-mates who were based in NY. Still it was a good time cos MD, AD and I go to know the Vancouver ppl a bit better. Then we were sposed to go to a club called Marquee but decided it was too expensive -- ended up at Home instead just around the block which was really just fine too. It was really funny watching Young P and AS do the "lightbulb-screwing" (in Young P's words) dance move but poor NM and MD reached their party limit that night.

Wed we packed up and had a quick dinner at a Parisian bistro close to our hotel, then MD, NM, AD and I were on the plane to Miami! This leg of the trip was purely for leisure -- we figured that since we were in the US anyway, might as well take the rest of the week off for a respite from the chilly weather. Arrived at the serviced apt around midnight -- it was huge and we could've easily fit in another 6 ppl if we wanted to! However the price was still cheaper compared to the hotels in the South Beach area, which was where we were going to spend most of our time.

From Thu to Sun, visited the beach (just once, cos AD lost her less-than-48-hour-old sunglasses and that turned us off the sea) walked and shopped Lincoln Road Mall (a pedestrian mall) and the Art Deco district  and caught a movie ("I Think I Love my Wife") in between just relaxing and enjoying the sun. NY had been hit by a snowstorm Thu evening and I can't deny we felt lucky/smug that we'd escaped it by leaving earlier than the others (the juniors had class till Thu and had planned to take off on Fri).

It's been 3 days since I seconded to the fin audit dept, and I'm feeling mixed abt it.

On the plus side is the biggest indicator that my managers were right in saying that it would be good for my development to second: the work that fin audit does is pretty different from what I do in IT audit. It's unexplainable but I think I've been working with processes so much that I subconsciously pushed it to the back of my mind. 'It' being the fact that a big part of audit is footing (calculating totals), variance analysis (determining if the changes in totals are reasonable), reconciliations (whether debits and credits balance out to zero), calculation of accruals (whether the correct amount is recognized in the right period) and evaluating the nature of financial statement line items (whether they are classified correctly).....among other accounting fun stuff.

The cause for concern to me is two-fold: firstly, I've never done Advanced Accting nor Auditing courses when I was in uni, and to compound that, uni was 2 years ago, so I'm taking some time to even recall the regular accounting stuff. Contrast that to the two other 'juniors' on the job who are both studying for the UFE and thus are immersed in the subject matter -- and I feel a little inadequate.

On top of that, the client I've been assigned to is a non-financial services one. I've been told that I'm lucky to be assigned to one of the more organized engagements, but still, its a smaller company than most financial services ones. Young P used to say to others that he likes financial services cos there's more flexibility in the budget just cos the job is bigger. Now I see what he means. The team has a strict budget and the partner had expressedly said that no changes were to be made in timeline. While back in my own dept, I've always been sheltered by having the managers 'cover' for me when dealing with budget issues (mostly justified, since quality is the tone and sometimes more work is required to gain comfort), I'm out in uncharted waters here in fin audit. I don't think they discount quality at all, rather, I don't know how they deal with deviations from the norm nor what the standards are.

Last Fri when submitting our timesheets, the senior told one of the intermediates to make sure to charge time to my section as he provided coaching to me. The manager was onsite too and while she is nice, she kinda (half-jokingly?) said that it was all my fault that she didn't have anything to review. This is kind of true, because I was still trying to get my bearings and understand what was done in the previous year (thank goodness it was ONLY two years since I left school and accounting!!!), and the client....welll...the primarily client contact anyway (the Controller), does not seem to like me in comparison with the rest of the team. Is it because I seem so clueless (the truth being that I was never part of the UFE process hence not having the background to draw from -- but he doesn't know that of course...probably he's considering me a UFE failure in the making) or am I just too timid i.e. I should just assert myself to emphasize that I'm the auditor, and he the auditee....

As the outsider, I also have this fear that I'm creating a bad impression of my own dept. It's one thing to be part of fin audit and have the issues I mentioned above, but another to be from outside the dept -- the former is easily forgiven as "she's one of us", while the latter (in the worst case scenario) will be labeled the burden and resented for having to be coached so much. The team is ok in that one senior is reassuring (perhaps cos she can see my subtle distress?); the intermediate and one of the juniors are constantly helpful but who knows what the others think.

At the onset, they gave me a section to do but are they regretting it now? I think I'm new and unjaded enough to want to continue my secondment (perhaps to a diff client?) even after it ends early March (my original 2 months had been shortened to 3 weeks due to lack of needs), but after this, would I be viewed as a liability not worth taking on? AD had mentioned that when she was on secondment, she was assigned to photocopy and basically do gopher stuff. I consider myself lucky: but will it continue? The manager reassured me that I'll definitely learn something useful from this secondment, but I was assigned data entry last night. To be honest, they were apologetic about it, I've seen another junior do admin stuff too (stuffing envelopes and compiling paper files) and I myself don't mind, but is this an indication of things to come? I hope not.

Nothing like starting from the bottom again to to remind oneself how to be humble, and how to ask for help.

I was talking to a friend online a couple days ago and we got to a point where we started taking turns accusing each other of being emo / depressed. Hey, at least I admit to being that way occasionally, right? You know who you are.

Paraphrased from another conversation around the same time: "It's ironic how a person like me who lives in the past so much can remember so little." Mainly in reference to how I'm really bad at remembering events. The most ironic thing is how if I write out my thoughts, I forget even faster....the blog in a way is my Pensieve. But I guess it's better to record it somewhere and have an increased rate of forgetting, than not doing so and forgetting eventually.

But today, a regular post for those who tire of listening to me getting all mopey. ;) Don't think it's all just for you guys though: this blog is also meant for me to keep track of what's been happening in my life lately. :P

So let's see...happenings. Was sposed to have started my secondment to the financial audit team on Monday, but manager asked to keep me for 2 more days, and fin audit manager agreed. Now, the secondment had already been pushed back a week, so we all thought that Wed b(i.e. today) would be the absolute start date. But really, Fate just does what it wants. There was a snowstorm warning for today, and the senior called me last night to give me a heads-up that they might work from home if the weather is too bad. 7.15 am today, she called and confirmed that no one was going out to the client site -- which would make it pointless for me to head out as well, cos I would know nuts.

Which is fine with me because 1) it was blowing snow out there and 2) I had work still outstanding for my previous clients. This extra day meant that I need to put in less overtime to complete the deliverables. Lately it's been rather intense to be honest, and I'm online or on the phone being fielded question after question till dinnertime, but today, a rare respite: it's Valentine's Day! Manager said he had to leave earlier. A coworker had said earlier that he would take a bunch of us date-less girls to dinner just because, but I think that fell through because of the storm. So since Bro has gone to KW to spend reading week with BYHo, and CNY is coming up, I decided to give the apt a more thorough cleaning than usual -- in lieu of the traditional spring cleaning we do as a family back home. I should go buy some new tableware too for tradition's sake -- will try to remember.   

Sunday, skating class as usual. Instructor's got me started on backward sculling (making bubble shapes with both skates), but I'm really not great at it. Plus I still am afraid of falling. Well, more lessons next Fall if schedule permits -- and an indoor rink for sure. Winter in an outdoor rink requires a more will power to show up for class (skipped the week before's cos there was windchill of up to -35C).

Saturday, had a curry laksa get-together with Jits, MarcL, Xian, Bong, Nat and bro. Met up with Xian and MarcL first and checked out the Curry's art store close to Chinatown (MarcL wanted to buy pencils and a kneaded eraser -- which is sposed to be gentler on the drawing medium), then to pick up ingredients for the meal. Back at the apt, we took much less time than last summer when we last cooked the dish...not quite sure why. Maybe cos we've made it before so we had a better idea of measurements (last summer we had pots almost overflowing and utensils everywhere)? Or was it cos we omitted eggplant? The latter is less likely tho a more interesting excuse. :P 

Friday, Hil's bday celebration at Coca Restaurant (a tapas place) on Queen St W along w JCh, Nic, CH and Nel. I have to give Nic and CH props for setting things up -- they even brought a cake w candles! Tummy wasn't in the best condition for the combo of oily food and wine though -- nearly thought I couldn't make it for PCh's bday bash at Easy. Stood outside for a good 10 mins altho there was no line, trying to decide if it was worth paying the cover to go in if I was going to leave early. I did end up feeling better though, so PCh got a big surprise when he showed up and I was there....I'd called him earlier to say I might not be showing up. However, did leave early cos tummy started acting up again, and from the looks of it, missed the best parts of the party. :S No regrets tho -- I needed the rest and Krupo generously offered a ride home. Thanks man!

Monday, Sunday and Saturday before that, eating with JCh, Mirchan and DLee: altogether very bad for weightwatchers. Duck ragu atop gnocchi and proscuitto-wrapped melon slices at Mirchan's apt with Kelso, her friend Alan and gf Loretta, Harold. Nasi lemak at JCh's on Sunday w MelT there as well. Saturday was Caesar salad, panfried monkfish, salmon and scallops followed by a poker game with additional bodies i.e. DLee's classmates Kelso, Andy S and gf Carmen, Corey, Kien.

The Friday just before that, went to Across the Road for Winterlicious w Young P, Krupo and gf HoY and some of his friends, including Andrea and her bro Mark and Veronika. On the menu -- mushroom soup (NOT the creamy kind), lamb shank w couscous and cabbage Also had said to PCh that I'd join the work crowd at Easy and felt really guilty abt skipping out -- esp since NM and Michy had implied they were going to flake. It turned out that the two ladies showed...and since it was pretty rare to see the both of them AND Young P all out at the same place and the same night (Young P hadn't been out in ages and he was hankering to go), Krupo graciously gave us a lift downtown -- thank again man!

As a side note, JCh thinks that I like Easy a lot. It's not that I like it a lot, but the drinks are cheap, the music's not too loud and the crowd is decent, making it relatively more conducive for hanging out and catching up with coworkers. At least on Fridays anyway. 

Moving on: we were really late, like 11pm-ish...so we were subject to the dreaded line. SJ was already in the line, and later PatM and Tom joined Young P and myself. It was freezing! I couldn't feel my toes by the time we got in -- but thankfully the bouncer was really nice and even gave us an ETA for getting in, something along the lines of "As soon as the crowd clears (from the top of the stairs where coats were checked  and cover was collected), you guys can go in."

It was a good night overall -- managed to get to know the new hires somewhat better at the very least, and caught up with the others.

That's abt it for the past two weekends. Now, abt some weekday stuff. ;)

Last Monday, gave my 2nd Toastmaster speech -- I titled it "How to Have a Successful Vacation" and was so nervous abt taking too long that I ended up too short! The target was 5-7 mins and I had a buffer period of 30 secs before and after....but I came up at 4 mins and a few secs. I nearly got disqualified i.e. having to give the speech again...but they gave me some leeway since they didn't really warn me abt it beforehand. After the speech, FY asked if I hadn't enough time to prepare. :S The truth was, yes, I did, but I thought giving an organized speech (the goal of Speech #2) was of higher priority than finishing on time -- if I'd dragged things out impromptu, I reasoned that the speech flow might get all choppy as I try to think of things to say.

Two Mondays before that, my first Toastmaster speech -- the Icebreaker. So, the backstory to this was that I'd been drafting the content since I first joined the club last summer, but hadn't finished organizing, and hadn't come up with a punchy intro nor conclusion. VP Ed had earlier sent me an email asking if I was still interested in the club -- I'd been away for a long time given the KW client -- and I'd told her I would be away till Apr but would drop by if ever I found myself in the office.

So that Monday, I was just thinking to myself that I'd do the latter and put in some facetime, but as soon as I walked into the door, she asked if I wanted to do a speech to fill in for the two scheduled speakers (my club unfortunately has a history of flakes -- ppl having to make last minute business trips or saying they're too busy). I don't know what came over me, but on the spur of the moment I said yes. In hindsight, it was probably her saying "You don't have to prepare -- the objective is just to get out there and speak in front of an audience." :P So, yeah, wrote the content out from memory onto a piece of paper (just to have something to refer to in case the mind went blank) in 10 mins before I went out there and did it! It's true what they say abt getting the ball rolling though -- it took me more than 1/2 a year since joining to give my first speech, but less than 2 weeks to give my 2nd!

Also, company dance group classes have started, reimbursable under the company's fitness plan. The dance is hiphop, and I signed up cos AD, Michy and NM was all enthusiastic, but when I showed up, no one did. Later on, AD said she backed out cos she thought she wouldn't be downtown often enough to make it. Michy and NM were on vacation while sign-up was going on, so they didn't get on the list in time. :S Still, since I signed up, might as well go. The conclusion after 2 classes: I'm really bad at it and I honestly don't dare look at myself at the studio's mirrors while doing the moves, altho I should, to find out if I'm doing anything wrong. Plus, I'm not awesome at remembering the sequence of steps. Lindy is soooo much easier!!!!! However, no objection to the claim that it's a good workout, although my leg muscles hurt after each class due to the 'snapping' movements (or 'popping' as Jeff B, my ex- lindy teacher would've called it). I think I'll have to be careful or end up with thunder thighs. :P And don't ask me to demo any moves! To debunk a popular misconception -- hiphop is best done with flat sneakers.. It's really a dance for the streets, requiring loads of attitude. Clubs are really not the place to dance real hiphop -- how many girls go to a club wearing that kind of footwear anyway?

Japanese classes at U of T's School of Continuing Studies started two weeks ago on Monday. 8 weeks long, 2 hrs per week, emphasizing speaking and for roughly $400, it's not cheap but the classes so far have been good -- the teacher, Noriko Yabuki-Soh, can remain enthusiastic for 2 hrs straight. From a speaking perspective, I think it's easier for me than say, French, but there are trying moments -- when it comes to saying one of the most important phrases (shitsure shimase) which is used for excusing oneself and saying good bye to bosses and so on, the first two syllables really give me trouble, since the 'i' in 'shi' is silent.

An aside: what are the chances of having two ppl with the same name in a class with 5 students? I'm sitting next to a LeAnne, who is also ethnic Chinese. How weird is that? This is one of the few times where ppl have to pronounce the 'Y' in my name to refer to me (teacher's only solution for differentiating the both of us) -- I myself usually underplay it to make things easier. LeAnne, the person, is friendly though -- works at Motorola. We walked to the subway after class together last Monday and she told me abt how she took a German crash course at the Goethe Institute over the summer -- 3 hrs every day for 5 days per week for 1 month...and it still worked out to be cheaper (on a per hour basis) than this Japanese course. Still, she said she liked the teaching style (better for beginners) and I agree.

Ok I think we're up to speed now, excluding reviews -- which will go up on another day. :P

After weeks of reminders, both email and visual (i.e. seeing other ppl walk around with new laptops), I finally handed up my laptop to be upgraded. This required a certain amount of prep as certain types of files, most notably the audit software that our company uses, is NOT automatically backed up. Hence, I had to make a backup copy and since I was at it, I might as well throw some stuff on the server too.

Our tech guys said that as long as we successfully completed an automatic backup, we'll be fine, but IMO they've learnt the language of auditors, and so they say "most files are backed up" as opposed to "all". Ordinary ppl might consider the probability of losing something they actually care about, and come to a (probably accurate) conclusion that the level of risk is acceptable....but I'm not at that point yet. When in doubt, err on the safe side.

Anyway, stayed in the office late last night for work and also to prep my laptop for the upgrade, altho I finished neither. Work gets done slower now that I've set limits on the number of hours I spent on it -- not that it's making me any happier, on the contrary, having the limits is what keeps me from falling off the edge entirely in my quest to address review notes and complete year-end rollforward testing. As for the laptop prep, I waited to fully backup the contents of my laptop itself, but after seeing the tool restart itself a handful of times, I decided that I'd best do it at home where I could at least get some shut-eye -- brought back the battery pack for good measure. Luck of course dictated that the backup would complete in a minute (no exaggeration!) once I connected from home. Carried that weight home for nothing, doh!

So, the upgrade was going to take 4-6 hrs, depending on content, and I'd scheduled it for the morning. It all worked out as planned -- I'm pretty pleased with myself. Basically, since the prep was completed the night before, I showed up at work and turned in my computer right away, then did an errand at Bay-Bloor, killed some time at the Indigo bookstore there, then caught a cab with MD back to the office, then went straight into lunch with members of the counselling group.

Lunch was at Canoe. Duo of white bread and purplish walnut baguettes came with chickpea spread to start. As appetizer, I had the Cumbrae Farms Steak Tartare w Cookstown chips, truffle creme fraiche and black trumpets. Main was Roasted Lamb Sirloin w northern woods mushrooms, sweet peas, basmati rice and garlic confit. For dessert, the Dark Chocolate Pot de Creme with Osi de Morti and cocoa nibs; and also a cappucino. Generally, I thought it was all nicely done -- if anything, my biggest complaint would be the table setting as it was rather run of the mill. If you're going to put the effort into the presentation of the food, accompany it with minimalist but warm decor, and top it all off with wall-to-wall views of the city (on the 54th F no less), why skimp on tableware? I've been to Jump (part of the Oliver Bonacini group of companies too) but at least they could say that we were sitting outdoors and it would naturally have fewer frills. Coworker also noticed that the wait staff didn't make us feel very special as they didn't come by to check on how we did and also didn't bring pepper and salt for his soup, but personally I just want them to be there when I need them -- which they were.

Halfway through lunch, the phone rang and it was NM. After the initial how are yous, I found out that the CISA results had been released and she wanted to know how I did! Honestly, that was quite a surprise and rather coincidental, esp since lately ppl have been asking abt when I expected to hear the results -- we'd been told "6 weeks" but with no word and after a check on the website said "8 weeks", I'd resigned myself to only finding out on Feb 10 or something.

So, imagine my impatience then! I just wanted to get back and check my email, but then again, my laptop wasn't ready for pickup yet. So, tried logging onto our webclient from LK's machine, but he didn't have the client installed and I didn't know if he would mind. Then, tried MD's instead, but her IE froze when it tried to load the client -- I guess the client won't load if it detects that we were already connected to the internal network? Just when I was beginning to despair....the phone call from tech support came -- my laptop was ready!

It was obvious what I had to do once I got it back -- check email! And yes, I'm sure the title of this blog gave it away...I passed. Not with flying colours, but I passed, along with everyone else from my office who wrote the exam with me. The notification email also had a breakdown of how my scaled score looked like, and I only really did badly (relatively speaking) in the disaster recovery/physical security section -- justifiable considering that I've barely done any work on the area. Scored highest on system development (no surprise there considering the amount of time I spent working on this section for the s5970 report) and second highest on the encryption stuff -- surprise surprise, since I found that section tricky in the exam. Now, another 1.5 years of experience and I can add 4 letters to the back of my name....

It's amazing how motivating news like this can be. After the results, I felt renewed energy at addressing those damn review notes.

It would've been a thoroughly good day if I didn't get a stomach upset -- sad to say, the culprit was probably the dish I liked best from lunch, the steak tartare, probably due to the rawness of the meat. :S The hardiness of my digestive tract has wavered since coming to Canada....

Well, win some, lose some.

A week has gone by since Mom and Sis left, and I still have many to-do's outstanding! Not to mention keeping up with my new year's resolution, to practise Mandarin. Yes, that's right, only one resolution this year...and I'n not very good at keeping them, but at least it's a goal I can attempt to work towards, no?

Last year I had three (practise Mandarin, learn a new language and learn to skate) and only one was really kept i.e. learn to skate. Even so, I'm still a novice at it -- last Sunday after having brunch with MarcL, X, Nat, Jits, Poi and her friend Maggie, Bro and Kimi, we went to Indian Palace, a small restaurant on Queen St W that served a buffet lunch. The price was competitive as it was very close 3 or so other restaurants offering the a similar buffet, so no complaints in terms of value-for-money. However, I think the other place a few doors down that I tried with MarcL, Jits and JB in the summer (Trimurti) had a better selection. I said that to MarcL but he says he can't remember. ^_- 

Anyway, skating. Harbourfront Centre, right by Lake Ontario and touted as the largest artificial outdoor rink in Canada (?). Maybe because I looked it up, that's why I was slightly disappointed to see that it was wider than a hockey rink but not much longer. Anyhoo, can't complain cos it's free and maintained! Zambonied every 2-3 hours or so. Was planning to meet Hil and Jas there, and managed to convince Bro and Kimi to go as well. It was the most fun I'd had -- probably cos I learnt enough to attempt to practise what I'd been taught? The outcome of almost 3 hours of skating was two sore spots on both legs (early warnings of blisters :S) and at least 6 falls (I really thought I dislocated a finger when I woke up on Monday -- so much so that I went to a walk-in clinic just in case -- but all seems well so far, doc told me to give it till Fri before possibly doing an X-ray) ..... but I think I'm getting the hang of the slalom (C-push with one foot, then switch feet). :D Like Kimi said, it's the sense of accomplishment! Of course, Kimi had skiing experience and altho wobbly sometimes, he started learning tricks and techniques from Jas.... all in all, a good day for all.

Saturday, dinner at JCh's w MelT, CH, Mirchan, ML and two of ML's friends, both alumni of Bristol Uni, UK but one originally from Birmingham who's now working with the govt in planning IT resource allocation, and the other a newly minted freelance writer based out of Msia. Dinner topics mostly covered socio-econo-political themes, and it was good to hear abt the latest happenings in Msia and to a lesser extent, the UK. Not forgetting dinner -- in theme with the collective new year's resolution to eat more healthily, we had roasted porchetta, roast veal chops (?), some grilled veal and pork and also spicy spaghetti with pine nuts(?), roasted red pepper atop fresh arugula greens. Not very sure abt the ingredients cos wasn't a very good elf re the main course. :P The starter and dessert was slightly more calorific: cream of asparagus and cauliflower being the former, and lemon and rasperry tart being the latter.

After that, watched a couple of eps of Dexter. ML's synopsis was that the series revolved around a serial killer who targets serial killers. So I think we all started off thinking that Dexter was a vigilante of sorts. The truth was, we were only half-correct. He is a vigilante, but he's also very clearly psychopathic himself -- he had just been encouraged to re-direct his bloodthirsty tendencies towards other killers. Every eps, he kills at least one person in a very serial killer-ish way....and the series is graphic about it. Anyway, for continuity across eps, there's an ongoing case abt a serial killer who drains his victims of blood before cutting them into pieces. My initial assessment: it has unusual and interesting direction/dialogue/camera angles, however, it leaves a queasy feeling in my stomach. After all, I really don't like serial killer movies.

Thought that I had to watch something happy once I got home, just to erase that uncomfortable feeling, but MelT was the one driving and we got talking abt interpersonal relationships and outlooks on life and how diff ppl handle things differently...so much so that we parked the car outside my apt building and went on for another good 1/2 (or maybe 1?) hr. I thought I was going to lose my voice! But it was a good chat (and no more need for the happy eps!)...lately I've been feeling rather like discussing these themes, and it was good to have someone to bounce ideas off of.

On Fri, had lunch with NM and MD at Ninki where we just caught up with what's been happening in each other's lives. NM just came back from India with her mom and she was telling us abt magical stones being levitated, and psychics predicting that she and her sis would be married in 2 years! India has always struck me as mystical, but having someone close to me elaborate on things like that....I was fascinated. MD on the other hand came back from vacationing in HK via Tokyo. This lucky gal had 2 weeks in Japan for client work and they liked her so much, they suggested she go back! Anyway so she was also updating us on how she and bf had compromised and how she was going to let him grow in his career and vice versa. I'm happy for her. :)

Later in the evening after work, a chat over a beer at the Duke of Devon w Young P. We both started out on an empty stomach and though we offset that with sweet potato fries midway, the alchohol went to our heads pretty quickly, but in a good way. :) We were both nicely cheerful -- we talked abt his latest vacation on a Caribbean cruise w his family (puking/drinking story snippets prevailed), then abt visiting the gf, then our recurring topic i.e. my dating activities or lack thereof. Young P says he wants to know abt the non-work sides of ppl, but he admits it when I suggested he might just be nosy.

So I was half-full with all those useless carbs by the time I met Mirchan and JCh for Japanese dinner at Yamato in Yorkville. Interesting fact: the ppl who own Yamato also own Fune, which has been suggested before by a client contact of mine. Anyhoo, we got the sashimi platter, the beef teppanyaki and also an order of zaru soba (cold buckwheat noodles to be dipped in a cold sauce mixed with raw quail's egg). The platter was #1 for me, tho JCh and Mirchan liked the teppanyaki immensely. Zaru soba was a little bit too cooked for my tastes -- I like a bit more bite in my noodles -- or maybe I was just not very hungry.

Looking forward: it's mid-year review time. Time to give and get feedback. I'm expecting less than stellar reviews among the total (I already had a middling one from last yr) but on a balance of 'feelings', I'm feeling kinda indifferent at this point in time. Had dinner just now at Swatow with LWA (in town for client work, direct from Msia) and JCh, and she thought I was getting burnt out...hmm...maybe I am. Still, I'm beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel and it's cheering me up a bit and probably giving me the subconscious energy to pull through.

Also today, talked to counsellor on long(er)-term goals....I'm glad I have him: he understands my motivations almost intuitively. But now that I've gotten those musings out, I'm divided in my feelings abt it: was it too early to tell him, given that I'm not sure of my directions myself? In a sense, I was almost just thinking out loud. Would he take action and if successful, would I then be faced with a decision I'm not yet ready to make? But at the same time, things like what I wondered to him abt, they take time to set into motion.

Yes, I think as a whole, it was ok to bring it up.... I hope though that he'll check with me again before he arranges anything too drastic.

Somehow although I had the 25th, the 26th, the 29th and the 1st off, not to mention the weekends as well...the holidays didn't feel as satisfying as I thought it would.

I showed up at work today and find out that both managers that I owe stuff to were either still on vacation or working from home -- with flexi-hours/work arrangements, no way of telling which is which, not that I care much anyway...they work hard and deserve it.

Howeverrrrr....looking at all the review points I have to clear for the long engagement....let's just say that the number of points brought up is proportional to the time I spent putting together all those documents for review. Everytime I gather up determination and open up one of the working papers, the comment boxes jump out at me, asking questions I have to rifle through my brain to bring all the pieces of info together (never mind that they were gathered at varying points in time and through various, sometimes undocumented means) and tie them all back to come up with a fitting answer.

Usually I can buckle down and systematically kill each one off, but today...I just feel so restless. Although I keep telling myself that work is this tedious at my level, and I'll just have to grit my teeth and bear it till it gets to the interesting parts....the thought kept popping back into my head: "Where am I going with this?" Not that I even have an answer to that question...

I wonder if this is a result of post-holiday antsy-ness, or the recent discussions with friends/acquaintances about new year resolutions and life goals, or is there a deeper reason...

Manager on the short engagement msged me online today and said that we were going to wrap everything up by the end of this week as the senior manager wants the files ready by Monday....said we'll work on it first thing tomorrow. Given the management style, it's going to be one intense day (or week, for that matter) back on that engagement. Also, it only can mean taking time out from working on the long engagement...which means working on the long engagement on the off-hours.

Long engagement's manager also emailed me today and asked if I'll be needing more time than budgeted. I don't know what to say...technically speaking I could more or less finish everything by the date budgeted if I allow myself to possibly work crazy overtime, esp at January-end. But do I want to do that and set a precedent? But I also feel bad for eating up so much of the budget as of now already and not really keeping to the milestones as set out at the beginning. And there's the external factor of possibly not even having the option of getting that additional time from the engagement scheduled to start in Feb....

Bleargh...just suddenly feel like a hamster on a wheel. I will myself enthusiasm that can be turned on at will to get through this month!

Phew...finally, after the past weeks' insanity, things are finally beginning to slow down. I'm starting down the road of getting stuff off my plate, either through eating it up or pushing it to someone else's. Heehee.

For starters, the exam that's been worrying me all Fall is DONE as of Saturday, Dec 9. Yes, I'm talking to you, CISA Dec 2006!

Parents arrived since Nov 24 and one left today (Dec 11). Sis arrived with them -- the chickie got a part-time job working for Dairy Queen/Orange Julius. It's a good thing, me thinks. It's true she likes how the money will multiply by three times by the time she takes it back with her, but she's a generous one. Bought me 3 sets of earrings for my upcoming bday (in anticipation of her 1st paycheck)! In total, too many earrings to be able to regularly cycle through, so gave her 3 pairs and mom one. But it's the thought that counts.

So I wrote the exam on Saturday morn...will not comment on whether I'll pass or not, but I think any extra studying wouldn't have helped. In short, what I put down on that Scantron sheet was with the most prepared mindset that I had. If I wrote the exam later and did better, it would only be because I had more experience and not  because I studied more.

Anyway, exam was freaking 4 hours long and we had to be there approx 1/2 to 1 hr before it started, and I was rushing there to begin with cos I was worried I might get shut out.... so I was really hungry by the end of it! Streetmeat never smelt so enticing...and after that, I had a haircut. To be honest I'm not a fan -- liked the last one better....and the lady was kinda gruff too. Sniffed disdainfully at the person who cut it before until I told her I got it cut at the exact same place.  -_-

Night time activities....well, dinner at Mediterra Restaurant at Richmond and York St downtown. Well the manager told me to make sure everyone was on time or else he'd charge me...so yeah, I did get kinda worried and actually put it down on the Evite. I mean, I know ppl are wont to be late, however, I thought by putting it on the Evite, they would get it and actually try. Human nature is hard to change though...one by one, ppl either flake or they call and say they'll show up later than expected. When I arrived (with only LW), the manager actually said, "So all 15 ppl are here, eh?" However, it seemed to be a case of bark worse than bite, because nothing came out of the initial threat. In the end, the guestlist was: Young P, CR, JV, AK, RD, MelT, Mirchan, JCh, LW, KS, JW and SH.

Food-wise, I have to be honest and say that mine was only ok. The yellowfin tuna was perhaps a tad too...medium. I blame it on the style of cooking. Grilling does tend to take the juice out, and yellowfin is not exactly the fattiest fish. LW got the Chilean seabass and pronouced it awesome though.

Many presents later (JV -- scarf, LW -- Nina Simone remixed CD, AK -- one set of festive monkey-shaped gingerbread cookies and one set of chocolate cheesecake, JCh and MelT and Mirchan -- a special(!) teddy bear from the Stag Shop and a gift cert, JW and SH -- a dozen pink roses)...KS made the dinner complete (for me at least!) by surprising me with a piece of fresh tiramisu from their dessert menu with a candle on top! I like!

The next item on the plan was to go to Easy Social Lounge. However, it was their snobbity night and everyone had to be on a guestlist/VIP list before you could get in. Now you could either get on it in advance, or you could talk to this guy who stands outside the club and 'evaluates' your worthiness before possibly putting you on the 'special' guestlist. I didn't make an advance reservation  and I guess we didn't qualify for the 2nd category that night.... Oh well, I guess Fridays at Easy are better.

Moved onwards to Schmooze instead. Young P immediately deemed it to his liking and between him, LW, JCh, MelT and Mirchan, proceeded to get me really drunk....and after at least 3 tequila shots, two vodka 7's, a flaming shot (Lamborghini?), a Yaegerbomb and something red that the bartender recommended...i think they pretty much succeeded! I look bright red in the pictures, and I had a mighty hangover -- although no puking, I woke up at abt 6.30am (abt 4 hrs after getting into bed) with uncomfortable heartburn that gave way to a pounding headache that gave way to a hunger unsatisfied by the traditional bday bfast of mee sua (longevity noodles) and hard-boiled eggs. Although in hindsight, the heartburn could've been from the burritos we got post-club from Burrito Boyz. :P

Tis the season for appreciation....so....

Thanks to the ppl who wished me, through various means, good luck and success for the CISA...the very catchy "luck and pluck" is worth a special mention -- I was repeating it to myself all the way to the exam hall and even while waiting for the exam to begin.
Thanks to the ppl who sent me bday greetings -- its a multimedia world out there when you get them through emails, phone conversations, ecards, phone SMSes and of course, in person.
Thanks to the ppl who look out for me....among many other gestures: Cold-FX appearing next to my laptop with instructions on a Post-it note, giving me rides to skating class and to dinners/outings, delivering my presents post-bday bash, taking the long way back in the taxi to make sure I get home safe...I've said it in person so you know who you are.
Thanks to the client and managers who accomodated my last minute request to have a study day.
Thanks to my counselor who called me from Florida to wish me happy birthday...although he was a week early.
And of course, thanks to the family for being family.

Another Friday, another realization that I'm running out of time.... 50 days to go till the CISA exam and no progress in my studying.

Manager is asking for stuff too...it's hard to give him stuff while I'm in these client and/or team meetings all day trying to decide how to approach problems. Yesterday I wondered out loud to MD why this yr's budget for this client is the way it is. Last yr they had 1 manager and 2 staff and the manager did abt 50% of the work, if not more. This yr, 1 manager and 1 staff (i.e. me) on an engagement that has 30% more work, and I do 90% of the entire thing.

Then I came to the realization (with MD's help of course) that managers have a higher chargeable rate (naturally), and while this is ordinarily passed on to the client, for this particular type of engagement, we are charging a FIXED FEE. Hence, it would obviously be more profitable to cut Manager's hrs and to get me to do the work instead. Great learning opportunity for me (and I'm not being sarcastic) .... if I survive through it (now I am).

Thankfully, Manager has been pretty good to work with. Yesterday, a 1.5 hr-ish long-distance phone discussion on engagement matters (my bill's going to be through the roof this month!!) but it was casual and by the end of it, I think I've been half-trained to say "Right on" (at his joking insistence) instead of "Ok" or "Sounds good". :P He gets the feeling that I'm a little stressed out, but I can't bring myself to tell him abt the CISA yet...

On the bright side, the client's providing us an Internal Audit resource on Monday to help out. On the dark side, I get to be his senior. Much as I know I'm ready to start senior-ing at this stage of my career... it's going to be work in terms of prepping for it.

This Saturday, my first formal skating lesson! Jas and Hil are flaking cos they're off to their convo in Waterloo -- can't blame them, how many times do you graduate in a lifetime anyway -- but I'll be fine. I was going to do this even if no one wanted to go with me. I wish I could go for their convo...but this is my first skate lesson!! Plus I know I'll be flaking later on -- parents and sis have plans to visit late Nov (and expect me to spend weekends with them), and those are 80% set.

Today our Kitchener team headed by my current engagement manager grew by one with the addition of Shin, who's here for just a week to help Munk and myself out. When Munk and I started talking lunch plans and looked to Shin, it was funny to hear him say that this was the first time he's been on an engagement where he would 'do stuff' for meals -- says he, he's mostly been on solo engagements and resorted to casual eats in front of his computer.

Goes to show how work experiences can differ even within the same department and job position.

Anyhoo, the main reason for this entry is the astounding coincidence that we discovered today. Manager, myself and Shin can be technically said to be on the same engagement...and Manager's bday is Dec 9, mine is Dec 10 and Shin's is Dec 11! Plus, Manager's wife is due to go into labour on Dec 6....and so Manager half-joked that maybe his first kid will have a bday on Dec 8 or Dec 12.

Wouldn't that be weird...  

The problem with not blogging for a long time is when I write abt what happened since the last time I did, a lot of the details on what made it interesting are lost....which is a pity. I have frequently wished that there would be some small gadget that I can just use to capture what I saw, heard, felt and knew at the time.... but I might end up not using it either. When I try to record that moment, somehow a bit of the subject matter is lost -- the sights just seem a little duller, the sounds a little less moving, the feelings a little less intense...and the knowledge, a little more rational.

That last one might actually come in handy though, in the case of someone like me who's so prone to speaking too quickly.

For now, I think a camera is for me, the gadget that captures the moment with minimal loss of the atmosphere.

So...what has happened since 2 weeks ago:

1) Japanese-themed dinner at JCh's on Sat w Mirchan and DLee...by far one of our healthiest dinners by his own admission. On the menu: tuna carpaccio salad, quail's egg with baby bok choy and braised pork belly, duo of hot and cold soba with mushrooms and pan-fried black cod, tau foo fah (soybean pudding) with sweet syrup. All made from scratch, save the tau foo fah itself. Followed that with some watching of 'Lost'.

2) Before heading to JCh's, decided to cook all the stuff in my fridge that was on the verge of going bad...and then some. And then cleaned the apartment...very dirty esp since starting this whole Kitchener assignment thing. Very pooped after it all.

3) On Fri, attended the first team planning event that I'd actively participated in.... although it helped that this particular one was focused only on the sub-division of the engagement I'm working on (the prev ones I've attended were always at the engagement level) and that our sub-team is pretty small. Then, went to see 'Wicked', playing at the Canon Theatre!

4) Thursday, townhall meeting for the industry I'm assigned to -- financial services institutions. Not very useful as it was organized by the financial auditors, who seem to have forgotten that they'd invited the specialty practices (of which my dept is part of) and so proceeded to give a presentation that seemed to only be focused on them. Heck, their "Welcome to the new hires!" portion totally ignored us! Plus, the atmosphere reeked of "I know you guys just got hired/promoted, but don't leave us! This is why you shouldn't leave us..." Sigh. it's common knowledge that the turnover rate is high...but the way they presented it... And I thought the campus recruitment video for the 2007 batch was cringeworthily cheesy.

5) Tues and Wed -- trying to recover from Boston while keeping it together at work. Frankly speaking, Tues was a pain -- we flew back in from Boston late Mon night, but I had to show up downtown to file my expenses and pick up the rental car...then drive straight from there to a meeting in Kitchener. After the meeting, I was desperately seeking rest, so called it a day and checked into the hotel. Worked after the nap and dinner instead.

6) 4-day trip to Boston! Stayed over at JCh's with Mirchan so we could take the Fri red-eye flight....and only realized it was one while calculating the exact time we had to wake up -- and realized it had to be 4.45am. O_o

(i) Day 1: Met LWA at Logan Airport just outside of downtown Boston, then picked up the rental car and headed towards Provincetown, stopping at Sandwich on the way. Cape Cod all day, battling the chill (I guess off-season really means off-season) -- thank goodness for modern heating! It does make one wonder how the Pilgrims survived when they first landed there. Stayed the night just outside Boston in a teeny town (probably just a business centre?) called Rockland -- it only warranted ONE roadsign....even Mashpee (doesn't the name scream 'rural'?) had more mentions.

(ii) Day 2: Drove into Boston to drop off the car and promptly felt thankful we decided not to drive the whole trip.... all those crazy one-way streets and flyovers! Getting to the drop-off took 1/3 of the entire car trip duration that morning. However, Jurys Hotel (formerly the Boston Police HQ) provided a warm welcome, we got to check in early and LWA and Mirchan extracted tourist info from the doorman who was from (surprise surprise) Montreal!

After a quick walk towards Tremont St, arrived at Aquitaine for brunch, then split up as JCh and Mirchan headed to Newbury St to check out the stores, and LWA and myself decided to walk towards the Isabella Gardner Museum. This museum was unique to me cos firstly, it was artwork across many types of media and eras, and secondly, Ms Gardner insisted on the lighting being kept the way it was before she died in the early 1900's, and thirdly, most of the art was NOT labeled as per her will as she wanted ppl to view the pieces and not be influenced by the name or history of the artist. I thought it was a refreshing, albeit unusual take on the appreciation of art. No photography allowed though, unfortunately.

On the way there, stopped briefly at Copley Square and also the Christian Science Church compound (seriously looking like an ancient Greek temple) and then the Mary Eddy Baker library to see the Mapparium, which is a big globe made of stained glass that shows the world and its boundaries as of the early 1930's. Again, no photography! :( Then, Newbury St and Back Bay, before meeting back up with JCh and Mirchan at the hotel. Dinner at Kingfish Hall in the Quincy Market area.

(iii) Day 3: Walked Beacon Hill and checked out the pub that inspired Cheers -- the Bull and Finch Pub. Quick stop for gelato and coffee, then lunch at a Todd English restaurant, Figs -- yummy pizza, but it would've been useful if they told us each one can serve 2 ppl! Following that, walked the Freedom Trail then to Quincy Market / Faneuil Hall for some shopping...then wound up at the North End for Mike's cannoli. Dinner at Penang restaurant -- one of the best Malaysian I've tasted in North America: the asam laksa was seriously authentic.

(iv) Harvard! It's a lovely campus to walk, and our tour guides (seniors at Harvard) made it entertaining with little anecdotes, plenty of energy and good voices. LWA had to leave earlier for her flight, but the 3 of us spent the rest of the day wandering the shops around Harvard Square, then ending up back in the North End for simple Italian. Satisfying... Then it was back to the airport and Toronto.
 
7) On the Mon and Tues prior to the trip, JE CAATs (Journal Entry Computer Assisted Audit Technique) training. 2 days worth of learning how to use the ACL program to clean and process mounds of electronic records into useful info. Dinner at Marche on the Exec Director's tab and bfast/lunch included...they do try to make us comfy in spite of tightening budgets company-wide. *mini <3 to the organizer*

I must be the only one who attended but am not in line to perform actual work on it. My current engagement manager noticed and asked if I would like to try to fit something in after the complete end of this engagement (in Feb) and before my next one starts... I know that I won't remember much of the training unless I actually try it out on a real life case...but will I survive? Or rather, will my social life survive? I left his question open-ended...for now.

8) Thanksgiving celebrations at JCh's. Since Melly wasn't able to make it to Boston, we had it a week early on the weekend of Oct 1: Turkey, stuffing and pear frangipane tart! Yes, it was yummy...

I think we're up to speed now. Phew. Going forward...another trip to KW, and alongside it...stronger resolve to blog more often, perhaps? ;)

In a Psychology course I took while still in uni, we came across a chapter about stress and it's psychological definition -- basically, "any event or situation that puts a heightened demand on someone's mental or emotional resources." The implication of the class discussion that day was really what I remembered though, i.e. that stress was not necessarily always the result of a bad event. For example, someone who is preparing to run a race is not in a bad event, but he/she would be considered stressed if he/she was running to win.

Having said that...

It's been a stressful week. Pretty much worked independently Monday because I had follow up from Friday. Tues and Wed I didn't want to disturb my manager because I knew he was away on training. Wrote him email late night Wed to discuss some points with him and then only heard from him on Thu saying he was busy with the planning work for another client, but that he'd seen my email and we could talk late Thu or early Fri abt it.

I guess that after being 2 weeks-ish on this client, I've gotten a feel of what the environment/engagement is going to be like, but in a corner of my mind I was hoping to actually see him in person (instead, I got a phone call sometime after lunch on Fri)... I think it's because this is not what I would've expected someone of my level to be doing. I thought that I would've gotten lots of coaching on what I should be doing. I thought that he'd be checking in every couple days or so to see where the status was at, and which items were done, etc.

Instead, our discussions have mostly been along the lines of, "How are you doing? No problems so far?" (i.e. really general) and all technical-type discussions have originated from me ("Given the way they've recorded these changes, how do I choose a sample size?" "Is it ok if we walked through only this portion of the process and if we do that, will it be enough?"). Most of the time I feel like I'm answering my own questions and just looking to him for affirmation that what I've decided is suitable. Most of the time, he seems to agree.

Don't get me wrong, I think he's a cool manager. He's got good solutions and strategies stemming from years of experience, and he seems genuinely concerned about me as a person. Just today I mentioned that I was getting pressure from the previous client to wrap-up (one of the big contributing factors to my week's high stress levels). This is hard to do when said client is downtown TO while I'm mostly in Kitchener for this current client, AND technically sposed to be working on the latter. He asked if I wanted to move some of my booked time to the previous client instead of juggling both clients at once.

Well...that was nice of him...but it's not like the work I have to do on the current client is going to be reduced any. In fact, the plan is for me to help out another coworker working on a diff division once I'm done this.

He also doesn't know of my other stress-inducing responsibilities. The CISA exam is coming up and I'm not even done Chapter 1...and Phil said he took abt 3 months to study for it. I have just two and a bit. 

There are a bunch of late-surfacing issues with previous client that is the real reason why wrap-up work was being dragged out (aside from logistical factors) -- issues that need back-and-forth emailing/phone-calling with those client contacts, whom I've got to eventually explain to when they ask me why I'm digging so deep. Logically (and also from experience), ppl can get defensive when we broach the subject of issues -- I hate that part of my job, but letting the client know abt it slightly before hitting them with a formal document is also something we have to do.

Last week and a couple days before that was "that time of the month", and yes, I'm prone to PMS, no joke. There were also some personal responsibilities that I've got to handle...and still am in charge of.

Personally I don't think it's fair to cite any of these items as excuses for not doing work on my current client or getting stressed out abt it. After all, that work is what I'm being paid for. But it doesn't change the fact that it's a new client to me (so a steeper learning curve)...and I've never really done an engagement of this sort. I've never independently done one of a similar sort either. Because this engagement is a new client for me too, I don't know the ppl and honestly, I frequently wonder if any one of them is writing me off as a "auditor who doesn't know better" (I know I shouldn't care, but I do want to build good and cooperative relationships with them). Most importantly, I don't know this manager, and I don't have a clue of how I'm measuring up in his eyes -- and his opinion of me counts a lot towards the end-year discussions on promotions and salary. Now to do this kind of engagement independently with a new client and with a manager I've never worked with...feels like the stress from each factor all got bundled up into a big, heavy ball sitting in my head.

This situation has its advantages though. Having to learn new stuff in a short time frame usually has me remembering more than if I read it over in a leisurely fashion. Independently handling this makes me virtually the owner of the engagement -- my manager has an overhead view but I'm the one with the details, at least for this year. Also, with a manager as hands-off and easygoing as him, it gives me room to devise my own strategies and explore the engagement, and because he's still the manager, I can check with him whenever I'm unsure and he's still responsible for making the final decision. I would call all of this positive stress.

However...positive or negative stress is still stress. Late nights and early mornings and 2 cups of coffee daily for the past week or so has taken its toll somewhat. Driving back from Kitchener this evening, I felt strangely numb and like I was floating in a dream -- just the portion of my grey matter that usually occupies its time thinking abt stuff while the rest of the brain figures out the hand-eye coordination required of driving. Weekends are spent recuperating instead of improving.

And I fall asleep as soon as I settle into my comfy position each night.

when I was interviewed for this position, I was asked if I was ok with travel. That was abt a yr and a half ago. Since then, I've never travelled further than the northeast edge of Scarborough, which is still technically part of the Greater Toronto Area. I've been to a ski resort in Orangeville for training, Cleveland for still more training, and Nottawasaga for a dinner tasting (thanks videosifter!) but that's abt it.

Last night though, the start of my first business trip...to Kitchener, an hr and a half away from where I live in Toronto. In fact, it's one half of the twin cities of Kitchener-Waterloo, and Waterloo is where I spent my university years. So really, it shouldn't be too bad.

Driving the highway stretch of it wasn't bad. Helped that I travelled it with my dad not too long ago. But once I hit the town... I  realized that I know very little of it after all. Altho I did live there for almost 4 years, my knowledge of it was really restricted to what was on the bus routes, and only the bus routes that passed through the university area...which basically means my knowledge is mostly only Waterloo. Plus for the first time in a long while, driving alone and at night. Didn't take too long to find the hotel, but still, a little more nervous than I thought I would be.

Anyhoo, today was my first day at this client. My schedule's all laid out with an average of 3 meetings a day for the week, and judging from these first few meetings, it seems like  like the client has everything prepared. On the positive side, perhaps I won't have to spend as many weeks on this (who am I kidding...they'll just pull me over to the other sections of the engagement). On the negative side, they're more prepared than I am, having done it a few times over, so gotta be on the ball....

Random fact I learnt today. Unverified, but apparently the reason why the roads in KW are so windy is because they were trying to avoid the sand pits, which are also the reason why all the buildings are low-rise...

I also realized how sketchy Kitchener is after all -- even in the middle of town, at 5.30pm the streets were mostly empty and the ppl who were still around, well, aren't really the kind you want to make small talk with. Maybe I've gotten more used to TO than I'd thought.

It's true what they say...most of the travel you do for work is usually of the uninteresting kind. Altho maybe later I think I should go look around Waterloo for old times sake.

What is your time worth? How much time do you spend outside of work, doing work?

I've always known that most ppl working in my kind of business have lengthy work hours and sometimes do trivial stuff (at my level). Perhaps that's why I wasn't too shocked when I found myself pulling 10-12 hour weekdays, and sometimes working a few hours on the weekend as well. Perhaps that's why when some of my peers complain abt the type of work we do and the time we spend doing it, I can emphathize but I can't say I didn't expect it from the beginning when I interviewed.

Even if the hours were to be compared against investment banking (where ppl spend similar hours at work), I don't believe the pay is equivalent...and don't even talk abt bonuses.

Today, I arrived home from work at approx midnight. Granted that I spent a longer time at lunch for NM's farewell from the client she's on (I was on the same team but rolled off earlier), and then spent abt 2 hrs at dinner with her and Mich. And it was my last day (technically) on the client so I had to make sure all the hard copy stuff was organized in a way that was easily retrievable by anyone who might need it. Plus I'm going off to Kitchener on Sun night for my next client.

But the bottomline was that I was still at the office at 11pm-ish. Anu saw me online and was pretty shocked that I was still at the client site...but it only made sense cos the stuff I had to organize is well, physically there.

Why then, am I still working here? The funny thing also, is that I'm actually ok with the work hours/pay tradeoff!

Hmm...maybe it's cos I've been told again and again that if I want to exceed, I have to be prepared to go the extra mile. Maybe it's because I know that this is the nature of the job -- for any one staff member, scheduling it so that at least two of his/her clients will overlap is really the most efficient way of running this type of company. Maybe it's cos there's such good rapport between team members and I feel like I'm always being supported. Maybe it's cos I feel like I'm learning something new everyday. Maybe it's cos I think that my work is actually making a difference, whether by helping the client figure out better controls or by helping reduce the work that the financial auditors do (or maybe I've been brainwashed!). Maybe it's cos I'm easily taken in by the bribes, I mean benefits and perks that the company offers. ;)

Or maybe it's cos I'm just easily convinced. As time passes, I do notice how much stress some of the higher-ups are going through. A co-worker who just made manager was saying that most won't stay more than 1-2 years bcos of the level of responsibility (a decision to audit in a certain way can have serious repercussions if it doesn't satisfy requirements in the end) and the sheer amount of multi-tasking that needs to be done. Those who are able to withstand the pressure are rewarded of course, presumably with a generous compensation package. And if you can do these two things AND bring in new business, well, you're looking at becoming a partner...but then once you get into that, responsibility increases twentyfold. More senior, more is at stake, more responsibility, more stomach needed. No wonder some ppl choose to forgo being a partner!

Responsibility and multi-tasking. Right now I'm experiencing it myself, albeit on a smaller scale. It gives me a veritable headache when I'm trying to finish a deliverable (usually a Word or Excel document) while following up emails pertinent to other deliverables, while answering scattered questions from seniors and peers alike, while maintaining a level of sociability/casual chatting... My decisions aren't going to bring down the firm if they turn out wrong, my tardiness in finishing deliverables isn't going to fail the audit...but it would affect my chances of working on interesting stuff (taking the last bit of fun out of work), and in the end, my chances of moving up.

In some weird way though, I like the way the company operates. True that I probably can't do it 7 days a week, 8 hours a day for too long, but this pace and type of work really gets the blood pumping for me. Comparing it to when I was on the advisory client just before this current one...well, the former feels almost lethargic now.

I have to admit that there are trade-offs. When I was at the advisory client, I actually had time to do other things, like watch TV or catch up with friends on MSN or meet up for dinners and chat sessions. I could've even taken regular lessons in whatever if I wanted to. Right now...well, not so easy.

The question really boils down to this: what is knowledge worth to me? What is social/non-work time worth to me?

I'm still the person who wants her cake and to eat it too, and sometimes I wish I had more than 24 hours in a day.

Today at work...I realized how much I still have to learn, how many possible roads I can pick as my experience builds up, how many things I could still do within the bounds of my organization...

...and I'm getting this creeping feeling that I'm not going to be able to do it all, much as I want to.

So today I was talking to one of the financial auditors on my team and he didn't realize that I was a junior member of our team...started asking my opinion abt whether a control could be scoped out (something we all look forward to as it means less work) and if he was right in calling it a logical access IT general control. 

Basically the control was this: a customer may have any number of accounts, say 10, but he doesn't necessarily need to have all of them attached to one particular bank card. One bank card may have only 5 of those 10 accounts. The key is that swiping the customer bank card and and combo-ing it with the particular customer service rep's password would yield a screen showing only those options available to those 5 accounts attached.

The financial auditor thought that it was a logical access control because there were passwords involved. I thought that it was a program change control because there was clearly some real-time edits matching the password with the bank card number or something similar -- i.e. someone must have set it up that way.

After abt 1/2 hr of discussing, we ended in a stalemate -- we decided to ask my sr manager when he came in. Nevertheless, I asked another manager...and as we talked it through, I realized the financial auditor and myself were both wrong. It was not even an IT general control, but an IT-dependent manual control. The reason was because although it's the system that decides what accounts to display based on the card and password, those accounts were attached to the card by a person.

The impact on the audit was that if it were an IT general control (whether logical access or program change), it would've already been tested by our team. If it were a business control, the financial auditor would have to figure out if he'd already tested it. If it were an application control, our team would have to test it. But since it's an IT-dependent manual control....the financial auditor would test the whole thing but rely on the IT general controls to reduce the sample size down to 1.

Now who said auditing was just all book-keeping...? Well to be honest, you have to do a lot of tedious, bookkeeping-like work while at the junior level. It's only if you manage to survive it to the senior level that things start getting interesting.

It's because I'm at a junior level AND have not done any actual financial auditing that I couldn't successfully argue my case. It's because he knows very little abt IT audit (and I don't blame him -- the financial side of things is pretty complicated even without trying to factor in the IT components) that he couldn't prove me wrong either.

The solution to my end of it really just boils down to experience, said the guiding manager when I commented that I didn't know how to evaluate the situation, esp on the fly. And I know this already...that's why I have my eye on a secondment to the financial audit dept to better understand how our dept and theirs work together. My manager added that even without that secondment, I would get better year after year as I learn more and more abt the different things a bank does.

From my point of view though...it really feels like I'm restricted by a timeframe of sorts. Things like working on a non-financial client, or seconding to the financial audit dept...these things you do when you're still at a junior level and haven't been considered part of 'XYZ client's must-have staff' (managers love staff continuity -- it cuts down on questions and mistakes and follow-ups). I have 3-4 years to go till I make manager...being a manager in my dept pretty much means an end to experimentation unless you all but quit the dept.

To complicate things, I'd like to try working back in M'sia too. And somewhere in the corner of my heart, I'd like to try working in a different country (like somewhere in Europe) -- not necessarily permanently, but long enough to get an actual feel of what it's like in that environment. Plus do some sight-seeing. :P 

Doing things like these will cut into the time I spend on a return engagement -- and subsequently the 'experience' and learning 'the business processes' that will happen when I come back to this client next year. And finally, yes, I would like to settle down with someone someday. How do you settle down with someone if you're never in one place long enough? It's a sad fact that there is still such a thing as an expiry date for single females...otherwise I could just take my time in getting to manager level, thus having enough time to do it all.

I guess the ideal way for things to go would be to spend 2-3 months being seconded to the financial audit dept, spend 2-3 months on non-financial clients, work on return engagements to build on past experience, get a long-term secondment/transfer to another office (ideally UK or some other English-as-business-language European country) for a year or so, then another transfer to M'sia or S'pore for a year or so. Settle down somewhere (hopefully with family and friends nearby) by age 30, and make manager around that time as well. And all the while, my clients will be interesting and with room for exploration and I'll have loads to learn at each one.

Now all I have to do it convince Fate to let me have my way. ;)

This past weekend has been an interesting mix of events and people.

Friday, got back from work late trying to meet deadlines. Kimi came to stay over from Mississauga -- he was writing an Econ distance ed exam early Sat morn and thought he could save travelling time by just staying the night in TO. Good call -- according to him, it took 1.5 hours by bus from where he's living now (he's co-oping in a company located there).

It was SJ's 27th bday celebration weekend tho, and though I skipped out on dinner at Marlowe's in Little Italy, I promised I would show at Shallow Groove for after-dinner festivities...so I did. He said it was at just at the intersection of College and Bathurst, but it was really a good few blocks away! So glad I was wearing ballet flats, else my back would've screamed bloody murder.

The place itself was a little...lacking in decor. Somehow it reminded me of the inside of a ship's hull. Probably because of the candle lighting and the wood panelling. It was just warming up when I arrived -- most of the ppl there seemed to be SJ's friend or co-worker. But it was certainly a big group, and after a few drinks (and they were pretty strong...else I was drinking them on a not-very-full stomach), everyone was ready to party. The dance floor that was a little recessed and had NO lighting at all, which actually made it all the better for anyone still sober and/or anyone shy to let loose. The DJ knew his stuff though...the music flowed smoothly from one track to the next.

We left almost immediately after SJ puked in the corner though. When I first saw him that night (about 4 hrs prior) he said he'd already had 8 shots...but I'm still surprised. He's a pretty big guy and it must take a lot of alchohol to bring him down. But someone bought him a beer and I bought him a vodka-cran...so I can't say I'm totally innocent. :P

Sat morn, Kimi had already left for his exam but MarL was still around. MarL and I met up with LWA and Des, then later with Kimi at the St Lawrence Market. Introduced them to Mustachio's veal-and-eggplant sandwich and also Carousel Bakery's peameal bacon sandwich. Between the two, I think I like the latter but LWA the former. Anyway, after that, browsed the market and got some stuff, then took the streetcar to The Beach for the Beaches International Jazz Festival. 

It was a very well-planned event with vendors in strategic positions giving out freebies (coupons for free Starbucks Frappucinos, anyone?) and easy navigation.... but the weather was terribly hot, around 38-40C maybe? There were also tons of ppl (everyone on the streetcar seemed to be heading there, not to mention the cars on the street) and none of the roads were blockaded, so everyone had to keep to the pavements. Did I mention how hot the weather was?

Got there in time to catch Jake Langley do some guitar-virtuoso-ing, and also Janiva Magness, 3-time winner of the "Best Contemporary Blues Female Artist" award. Funny cos I was really there for Janiva Magness and her after-hour style records...but when she did, it also started raining. -_- So we left. Went to Chinatown straight away because curry laksa was on the menu! MarL and myself were talking abt it all week.

We'd nv cooked together before so it was quite an interesting experience. We thought we'd spend only 1 hr max (the packet's instructions said 15 mins for the curry itself) but it turned out to be double that time. But I blame it partly on us going a little overboard with ingredients. :P

Noodle-wise we had yellow noodles and bihun (rice vermicelli). Vege-wise we had long green beans, bean sprouts and sliced eggplant. We also had tau foo pok halves and hard-boiled egg slices and steamed chicken from Chinatown. When I was trying to take a pic of a bowl of the final product, I found it hard to make sure everything had surface time. :P Of course the dinner was not possible without help from Des, LWA, my housemate and Kimi who helped prepare and also did the dish washing / stove cleaning...many thanks to them.

After dinner we settled down to dessert (apple strudel from the market) and to watch Princess Mononoke on DVD (see the My Reviews tab). Tired after overeating though, so slept early.

Sunday, time to get down to work. I promised my senior at work that I would complete a certain amt of deliverables by Monday...and after a few hrs at home, I decided it was more productive to do it at the client site. Plus my laptop's batt was dying.

The office was a little stuffy but it definitely helped concentration...constantly sipping iced water helped too.

Decided to go out for dinner with JCh, Boon, DLee and his bro at Nakwon at Yonge and Finch. Going with a bunch of guys definitely allows more food ordering! Between the 5 of us, we had the grilled mackerel, 2 bowls of bibimbap (stone bowl rice), a 2-person order of grilled beef with veggies (which came with 2 bowls of tofu and minced meat soup), the pork bulgogi on a hotplate, an undefined number of bowls of white rice and the 6-pc appetizer spread. And some quantity of white rice. Satisfying....

And now to end with something a bit more serious (in case you think I have fun all the time :P). I signed up for the CISA exam today. The exam will be written on Dec 9, 2006. That's a day before my birthday (what a way to celebrate huh).

I'd already decided a while ago that I might as well write it since the company will pay for it if  I pass. And that writing the exam (while not yet fulfilling the number of work hours required to get the charter and not being sure if I want to be in this line of work for life) is better than not writing it at all.

But today there was a lot of talk abt promotions at work and the likelihood of getting it or being held back...and I realized how competitive some of my co-workers are after all. I thought that by just constantly performing at my current level, I would be above average already (as I have been this yr), but perhaps it won't work as well in the coming year....

How much of a dog-eat-dog world is it out there?

EDIT:
- Added pic of Sat's curry laksa and apple strudel. Looking at the pics again makes me hungry! :S
- Added Beaches Jazz pics to the Photos tab.